I’ve Made A Big Mistake

Dear blog, It’s been 7 months since my last … wait, I think that’s only for Catholics.

Soooo, whaddaup blogverse!!! It’s been kind of awkward to write here these days because I don’t know who could be watching.

I shared this little blog with too many people – because it was so ME (eye roll). I’ve made a big mistake. Turns out I don’t really want people close to me to read the mad ramblings from my brain. This is my space, the place where I share emotional outbursts and troubling thoughts – it’s deeply personal. Even precious, particularly because I don’t write in a journal anymore. Furthermore, this is where I write when I don’t quite want to talk about something, where I try to fit the emotional pieces together and find that big picture. Now, I’m all afraid of judgement *sigh.

Turns out I don’t really want people close to me to read the mad ramblings from my brain. This is my space, the place where I share emotional outbursts and troubling thoughts – it’s deeply personal, even precious. Particularly, because I don’t write in a journal anymore. Furthermore, this is where I write when I don’t quite want to talk about something, where I try to fit the emotional pieces together and find that big picture. Now, I’m all afraid of judgement *sigh.

In the past few months, I have written so many blog posts in my head, then the annoying little voice in my brain said.

What if that guy you like (and foolishly shared this blog with) reads that craziness?

IALMOSTGAVEAFUCKI’m laughing at myself now, but that’s verbatim – my thoughts. Therefore, I would refrain from writing. I mean it helps that I’m pretty darn busy these days with a full-time job and other side projects that have sufficiently distracted me from the compulsion to blab in this medium.

Thank goodness, I’m over the hesitation – well in some sense. I’m still feeling like Rockwell and it is tempering my ramblings somewhat, but I have acknowledged it and I’m working on it.

Subsequently, I’m sure that before too long I’ll be back to my old “Don’t Give a Fuck Self” (dammit almost said hoot).

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