It’s been a while since I’ve been here because quite frankly, my life is in a bit of turmoil. My business is just not going the way I want so it’s back to the corporate world for me. Failing sucks. Anyway, enough depressing news.
My friends have been telling me for some time that “I don’t really like people” mainly meaning that my compassion could use some work. Truthfully, I do get impatient with people and that can be seen as a lack of compassion.
So, recently I had this job interview and I thought I would be perfect for it. I was even late for the first interview – the interview location was about 2 hours away and I failed to leave home on time (long story). So I was 1 hour late for the first interview – that had never happened to me before – I was beyond horrified. Still when I realised I was going to be late, I called the office and told them I was running late and that I was going to be 1 hour late – they were understanding since they were 2 hours away. Anyway, I made it “better late than never” and I killed that interview (it went really well) and I was shortlisted for the 2nd interview.
At this point, I am sure that this job is mine. I am educated to the Master’s level and I was going to create a proposal document outlining what I planned to do if I was hired. I was absolutely positive that no one else would get the job over me.
The day of the interview arrives, I have 3 copies of my proposal document and I am ready. I arrive early and everything is good – except the long wait to actually go in and be interviewed. Turns out, only 4 people were vying for the job and I am even more confident of my chances.
I go into the interview, I impress the panel with my proposal document and I begin to win over members of the 5 member panel. Then someone asks about my soft skills and how I would rate myself and I said it – I was being honest.
I think that, I don’t really like people
It just came out, I am usually a little more tactful and I can see that some of the panelist are taken aback by my statement, so I try to explain. I try never to be unkind to people. In fact, I go out of my way to be kind and friendly with everyone I meet but people can frustrate me. It’s like when your friend has a problem and asks for your advice, so you give it. It’s so obvious to you how he/she can solve their problem but they never seem to take your advice. Still, time and time again, they come to you complaining about the same problem that you already gave them the solution for. So you repeat yourself, time and time again, to no avail. They won’t even attempt your solution, now what do you do?
I get frustrated and I am more inclined to dissuade them from telling me about that particular problem. But sometimes people just need a listening ear and that’s where I fall down – I think. It’s almost like insanity to me. Doing the same thing, over and over again, yet expecting a different result. Albert Einstein said that. I can’t do it man. It’s painful to me. However, that’s what friends are for – to listen – to have compassion. So yea, my compassion could use a little work. I try but I don’t like it.
My interviewers were not pleased and I didn’t get the job. When I spoke to one of the interviewers afterwords, she said most of the panelist were concerned about my people skills because of that statement and since it was a Human Resources job – ah yet, I wasn’t what they were looking for.
This really upset me, I would have been perfect for them and I still can’t figure out who would have been better than me. Let’s just say that the field I chose to specialise in, doesn’t really have a lot of charming, exceptionally intelligent people. I would say that 25% of my class were exemplary individuals – and the others, not that they are bad people, they were just ordinary, plain and boring. People who were getting older and were just buckling down for the rest of their lives – their spark of life having died long ago.
So what do I do now? I started my business because I don’t like the politics of the corporate world and now I’m being forced back into it. I’m seriously thinking of transitioning to teaching. I use to think that I wasn’t committed enough to become a teacher. Teaching to me should be a calling – a passion. I loved so many of my teachers and the opposite is also true, so the thought of being an ordinary teacher is horrifying to me. I must be great at it or I’m not doing it.
Anyway, I may not really like people, but I have no hate for anyone. I also do try to be a good, considerate person even though my honesty continues to get me into trouble. Guess this means, I’m going to have to be a little less honest in my next interview.
Still, it continues to plague me, It not like I’m a misanthrope or anything – I socialize and I’m outgoing – most of the time 🙂 So, is saying that I don’t really like people such a bad thing? Seriously, I would really appreciate your opinions on this matter.