I wrote this recently What’s a girl to do when she likes muscles and I keep thinking of a way that I can solve my problem, making this a bit of a part 2. The image that I project is still, after all these years of dating, not attracting the kind of men that I consciously want to be involved with and even worse the men that I become entangled with are – how do I put this delicately – somehow lacking, so I remain confusingly single. It’s been about 5 years since my last relationship. Not to seem like I’m playing the blame game – goodness knows I have not been looking.
I’m a lazy dater and I’m kind of waiting for Mr. Right For Me to just drop in my lap. Heck – I wouldn’t know how to go looking for Mr. Right, even if someone gave me directions. I guess all I can do is try to be my best self and hope that the Right person will find me.
Still it’s beyond frustrating when the guys who like me, I don’t like them. Luckily, the reverse isn’t true, as I never like anyone who doesn’t like me first – self-preservation and the like.
Now I have met some really good guys over the years and it kills me that I can’t reciprocate their affections no matter how hard I try and believe me I have tried. I don’t want to be shallow but I can no longer deny that I am and it kills me. As much as I want to have the personality traits of a potential partner be the deciding factor for any coupling – no matter how brief – physical attraction is all too often the sole reason for my entanglements and I seem to have such a disappointing typical type – Mr musclebound *sigh
They say attraction can grow but usually only when there is some initial spark of interest. I have personally spent a lot of time dating persons, waiting for attraction to grow, to not avail. Whether it’s the laws of attraction or some biological/chemical imperative – you know the old stupid pheromones excuse – I like what I like. I call this being shallow but maybe it’s not.
I mean I do not date men based solely on perceived physical attractiveness. In fact, the first 10 minutes of talking to any man usually helps to either aid or decrease that person’s overall appeal. Sexy men can become plain and dull due to their lack of intellectual abilities or become red hot because of evidence of stimulating intellectual prowess. Yes – conversations make me hot 🙂
So my conclusion is that I don’t really have a problem with being shallow and there is nothing wrong with liking muscles – sure it’s a generic cliché preference but it is only the initial draw and not the sole deciding factor. Lasting attraction is about so much more than just looks, it is genuinely a combination of so many other factors, including personality traits and similarities.
So If I’m not shallow, what’s my problem?
Observation: In trying to find a nice accompanying picture for this post, I realised something. There are very few images of women ogling men on the internet compared to the multitude of men doing just that. How sexist – men can objectify women but we can’t objectify them – not cool.