For the past few days I have been having this feeling: not quite sad – OK maybe, just a little sad – I chalked it up to PMS, as it came with the inability to concentrate and general lethargy. Finally I have identified it – its discontent.
“Now is the winter of our discontent” – as Shakespeare’s Richard III puts it.
The first 2 weeks of February had been hectic for me, especially as I have adopted a much more chilled out lifestyle since moving to the country at the end of November. Its been good – calming, clean – lots of food. I’m finally back to 110 lbs – yup so much good food.
Anyway, I kept going back and forth to the city until January, when I spent the entire month in one place. Then in February it was just an explosion of activity; running to Kingston, planning a big event for my client, meeting new people and reconnecting with old friends, going out to dinner/drinks and just all around having a good time.
I hadn’t been doing any of that for a little while so all that rushing about felt really great. I was just up or a little manic all the time. Now I have been back in the country for a few days and everything seems to be a little off. I’m not calm and I am paralysed by my discontent. I’m barely working.
I’m also trying to find every excuse to go to the city (I have a dermatologist appointment on Thursday). I was good in the country but then I got a little excitement and it no longer seems to be enough.
I’m not at the point where I want to move back to the city – I think – but I guess I really missed having a little elation in my life and I spend way too much time indoors or by myself.
I’m pretty lazy I will admit – as being as adventurous as I am, I spend entirely too little time having new experiences. It’s time that I travelled. I met someone recently who told me about their travels and I was just so intensely jealous. That’s the life I want.
I now work for myself and only need an internet connection to do my job. I am not bound to any physical location, then what the hell am I still doing in the country of my birth?
My very real pain exists in my inability to find Pho in my country. I am craving a Vietnamese dish that I have never had before and probably never will, until I leave my country.
It’s definitely time to put on my travelling shoes.