I Don’t Like Old People

Old peopleIt’s sad but true, old people drive me crazy. Mainly because I can’t tell them to shut the fuck up. It’s the polite child in me, the whole respect your elders diatribe that was drilled into me; well actually more like, smacked into me.

My main irritant is, of course, the constant yapping. Old people have the ability to hold me hostage while retelling the same tired story for the 100th time. Oh, how I wish I could say, “you’ve told me that before” – but I can never be sure if they are losing their facilities or not and I don’t really want to upset them.

I think I realized how badly I disliked old people when having a conversation with one the other day and wishing that one or both of us would die so that the conversation would end.

What’s even worst is the know it all attitude and the outdated ways of thinking. Almost, all the old people I meet are either bigoted, sexist, racist, homophobic or a religious nutcase, who tells me that we’re all going to hell in a hand basket. God forbid, that I tell them that I’m agnostic, it would be heart attack inducing for sure (actually, that may not be a bad thing).

The bane of my existence is working for an old person – my definition of hell on earth. Someone who was successful back in the day and who should now be coasting on that success. Instead, these people have the nerve to judge me and tries to offer advice on how to live my life. The hell. They are so absorbed in the glory days that they have no idea of what’s happening around them.

Seriously, someone needs to tell me how to shut old people up. I can’t seem to do it. I simply, sit or stand there, wishing the ground would swallow me, or maybe I could just lose my hearing.

I don’t believe that you should ever get into an argument with an old person, they will never admit to being wrong and quite frankly what’s the point. I just wish I could find a way to punch them in the face – a nice clean knockout blow, so I can quickly make my escape.

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