Modern society teaches us ‘how to be lonely’ – in essence, how to be content by ourselves. We are empowered, embolden and utterly accustomed to receiving numerous forms of fleeting gratification. We have so many things to keep us busy, so many bright distractions and dazzling displays. All in an effort to mask the fact that we rush through our lives utterly … Alone.
The worse part is that being alone is acceptable but being lonely isn’t. We are taught to be independent and self-sufficient – a philosophy that I embrace wholeheartedly. We are strong – happy even in our single-dom – living rich fulfilling lives.
Until those quiet disturbing moments intrude – those moments when I sit alone in bed, laughing uproariously at some couple on the TV – and in a tiny moment, for a split second … my heart turns over in my chest with pangs of yearning. Yes – me – Miss “Single and Loving it” my most secret desire is voiced – Will I ever have that? That easy companionship and laughter with a life partner. Is any of it real?
Love and a sense of belonging – is it real?
That insidious of all emotions, that attacks us when we are most vulnerable – in our unguarded waking moments and in our unconscious dreams. For the most part, we forget about it and we live our lives until it demands attention. Through the smooth mellow of a love song that causes our throat to swell, our eyes to burn and that beating organ in our chest to ache unmercifully. Through the beautiful words of a poet that makes the whole body quake and shiver. Love – the most glorious of human interactions, with the most potential to destroy us from the inside out.
Yet, we have to admit to ourselves – we all want it – even when we deny it, cheat it or run from it. We want it – we want the undying adoration of another human being. We want to be everything to someone. To belong not only to ourselves, to not be so … alone.
The pursuit of love makes calamity of our very existence yet without it, we are incomplete. Without it – we are … lonely.
Nevertheless, despite our recognition of this most harrowing fact of life; we must remain vigilant and not let isolation drive us into unworthy arms. Ultimately we must love when we are ready … not when we are lonely.
I leave you with a performance of the heartbreakingly beautiful “To Whom It May Concern” by the amazing duo “The Civil Wars“ – my message to the universe