How To Get A Man? Question 2: Should I Have Sex?

For anybody who has read my previous post – Single, Celibate and Loving it – you know my current stance on sex. I’m not having it, but it’s a new year and I have been single and celibate for a while so it’s probably time I get back out there. Hence, my “How to get a man?” posts, starting here with Question 1: To Reveal Or Not To Reveal ­čśë

Now being back on the dating scene will mean that my current celibacy will be put to the test. It’s one thing to be celibate when there’s no temptation but since I’m actively seeking said temptation – I should probably have a game plan. Will I be putting out? – hmmm let’s hear the case.

Question #2: Should I have sex?

Now I’m no virgin and I really enjoy sex but I don’t want just sex. I want a normal healthy adult relationship, but there’s a lot that has to happen before the┬ácommitment. Another of my old Jamaican adages apply here┬á“nuh buy puss ina bag”. Which means don’t buy anything that is┬áconcealed and make sure to examine it first. In the same way, before making a┬ácommitment, make sure to analyse and ‘test out’ the potential mate – of course ‘test out’ refers to more than just sex. But we cannot┬ápretend┬áthat sex isn’t a major issue in most relationships, so why take the leap unless one has made sure that one is sexually┬ácompatible┬áto another.

slut prude

OK – so I’m gonna have sex but here’s another┬ádilemma┬á– when should I do it? Seriously thinking about this makes me want to rethinking re-entering the dating arena and just resign myself to becoming an old lady with cats – men never have to think about this shit. The real problem is this – have sex too early and you’re a whore – wait too long and you’re a prude.

The lovely Steve Harvey suggested in his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man┬áthat women should put men on┬áprobation┬á– no sex for 3 months/90 days while getting to know a guy – lol. Most of the guys I know would die (probably literally) if they had to got 3 months without sex.

So here’s my suggestion – how about 1/2 that time – maybe 45 days – or 30 days – or ….┬áDammit

The point is that one should not just jump into bed with someone else, without spending some time getting to know that person. OK, so I guess I can’t put dates on it (the waiting period). I can’t say wait this long or that long. Instead, I believe that each person should make that decision for themselves.

When you make that decision – no one should change your mind but you AND ONLY if you believe that you have some kind of understanding of who this other person is. I believe that everyone deserves to be waited on. I am a prize to be earned and nothing worth having ever came easy.

In this I’m traditional and I believe that a man has to work to get my cookie ­čÖé

What are your thoughts on the issue? Do you agree or disagree? Please share.


6 thoughts on “How To Get A Man? Question 2: Should I Have Sex?

  1. Every woman, in my opinion, has the power to dictate the stance of sex. Us men have this idea that due to our attractiveness (handsome face, rip body, big imprint), we are irresistible to most women. The thing is, women have already made their decision to have or not to have sex with the male of interest. With that said, if the guy is being impatient because you’re not giving it up then that guy isn’t the guy you would want to give the pleasure of breaking your celibacy.

    On the flip side, everyone woman have their needs to be fulfilled and may just choose the “Mr. Not Right Now” for a temporary fix.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are absolutely right my friend.

    Yet so many women give up their power so easily.

    I say if a man doesn’t want to wait – then fuck him (not literally now) I mean just say to hell with him.

    Believe me – he’s probably not worth it and letting him go probably just saved you a lot of heartache and pain


  3. Good article Elo. It had me chuckling and nodding my head in agreement. I do believe women should wait though, coz I’ve noticed that the quicker that negro gets it, his interest diminish like a snowball in summer. I like the 90 day Steve-Harvey-challenge; though it’s such a long stretch for both parties. But if after that time u lose interest in the guy, then you realise he wasn’t phuck-worthy in the beginning ­čÖé


  4. lol Thanks for commenting.

    Yes you are right the 3 months is long but what do they say about anticipation again?

    oh right “Anticipation makes pleasure more intense” ­čÖé


  5. 90 days seems excessive.
    45 seems a better time period.
    Of course much depends on what happens during that 45 days.
    Do you make each other laugh, feel comfortable, just like being together.?
    If it is simply 45 days of jumping through hoops without any spontaneity then the relationship is going no where and the sex will be boring.
    You have to be able to laugh in bed too. ­čÖé

    Liked by 1 person

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