NOT Domestically Inclined Female

hatecleaningMy entire life, I’ve been criticized for being what I like to call “not domestically inclined”. The truth is that I absolutely detest household chores – the mere thought of cleaning, doing laundry etc. makes me want to run screaming for the hills. So yes, that makes me a slob. Whatever.

It all started with my mother’s archaic gender role beliefs. As a child I was the elder sister with a brother 3 years younger than I. This often meant that I was supposed to take care of him and do my chores around the house. Growing up in a single parent struggling household meant that the chores ranged from scrubbing toilets to hand washing and ironing clothes. It was beyond rough.

But what made it even worst was my mother’s insistence that it was responsibility to do all the cleaning because it was ‘girl work’ and my brother was allowed to pretty much roam free. While I was stuck inside scrubbing my hands raw – let’s just say that Cinderella’s sufferings were no worst than mine.

Now my circumstances coupled with my active seeking mind and stubborn personality meant that I did not have a happy childhood; to the point that the chores became the least of my problems. But that’s a story for another day.

Anyway, is it any wonder that I hate chores. I am convinced that I was predisposed to hating them and my mother’s beliefs only heightened my disdain. As a child I was baffled about the difference between myself and my brother. This meant that I complained bitterly, which led to even more chores as punishment; after my whipping by whatever implement of pain was closest to my mother’s hand (belt, stick, board, shoes, pots, or her fists) again story for another day.

Today, whenever I clean I feel as if I’m being punished and is it any big surprise that I detest it. In fact, the only chore I find any tolerance for is cooking – what can I say I love eating. Now I’m not one to bare my soul to others so how could I communicate to others that I’m a slob because cleaning makes me feel like I’m being punished; without going into detail about my horrid childhood. Is that even a valid explanation anyway and shouldn’t I have found a way to get over it and clean more frequently? I mean other people do it, even though they don’t like it.

Instead, my explanation have been – I’m a bit of a germaphobe (which I am) and I’m simply not domestically inclined. Then of course, I get accused of having a princess complex, being lazy (which I admit I am) and being just plain nasty. Surprisingly, the harshest criticisms come from other females. Additionally, why are men allowed to be slobs and women are not?

Which makes me wonder, why do a lot of women still cling to the gender stereotypes of women as housekeepers?

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6 thoughts on “NOT Domestically Inclined Female

  1. Gosh, I hate this. I hate that I feel pressure to have my house spotless when I have company over. I hate that if I don’t clean my house I am criticized. I totally agree with you. I hate how the idea of a “bachelor pad” conjures up pictures of an acceptable mess, because you know, boys will be boys. But as a woman who lives alone I have to have my house together, clean, and decorated. Granted I like it clean because it makes me feel better but I sure don’t enjoy doing it.

    By the way I tried liking this a couple of times but my computer is freaking out and refreshes the page instead. So if all of the sudden you have a bunch of views at once it’s just me. 🙂 Not sure if that should make you feel better though…. Either way, great post!

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    1. Oh I absolutely agree – I work and slave away like a dog whenever I’m about to have company over. And God forbid if it’s not spotless.

      Just another example of screwed up gender roles and how men can get away with things that women just can’t. It really irritates me – to the point that I feel as if I’m failing as a woman or something.

      Even worst are the men who expect their girlfriends to do everything around the house – I had a boyfriend once who didn’t even want to do the dishes after I cooked. I would nag him about it until I got tried and eventually just did them myself. sigh.

      🙂 and about the page refreshing – I’m all for up-ing my stats. so your headache might be for my benefit 🙂

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    1. gasps* you did not just go there.

      Listen you either want a girlfriend or a maid – they are not one and the same. Any man who wants me to be a maid is not worth keeping by me anyway – so no great lose there

      and Yes I can cook but that doesn’t mean that I would ever do all the cooking for any man.

      P.S.
      Thanks for the compliment

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      1. Why can a man have both a Girlfriend AND someone that keeps the place in tip top shape? Is that asking too much?

        Elo, you are getting ever so close-r to that firewall….tic-toc, tic-toc….it is full time you start understanding what really is holding you back from a true relationship with the right guy. Are you angry at men as it appears in your many blog entries? Why so combative…start embracing life………exhale and come again……………

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      2. I am not angry at men – well most days anyway, I do have my moments.

        Let’s see logically here – Are you saying that 2 people in a relationship, with full time jobs, working approximately the same hours and the female in the relationship is still suppose to take care of the household by herself?

        What about equality and sharing the responsibilities? For the record I have found myself mothering boyfriends before, but it definitely got ‘old’ when I realized that I was willing to put out so much effort to ‘take care of him’ and he was not reciprocating.

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